A YEAR AGO I decided to make some serious changes to my wardrobe. And I began by getting rid of half of it. This fashion cleansing led to many personal revelations about my buying habits and financial stability. I am happy to report that twelve months later I have not bought any more lipgloss or eyeliner and I’ve managed to keep only what I actually use in my closet. 

IN THE SPIRIT of the new year I wanted to share this post again in hope that it will motivate others to undergo their own buying transformations. although I haven’t completely stopped buying, I have less desire for things I don’t need, give more to charity and sleep better at night. 

I WISH YOU all a Happy New Year full of motivation, good health and better sleep!

XO

~M

COUPLE MONTHS AGO I literally stumbled into my closet to find that I had (surprise, surprise) “nothing to wear”. As I rummaged through the ridiculous amount of shirts, pants, skirts, dresses, scarves, shoes, underwear etc, I realized that I had not worn fifty percent of those items in over a year. I had shirts hanging in my closet that were never appropriate to wear in public at the age of 27, yet somehow I managed to keep since high school. Why was I holding on to this stuff? The memories? Or just my absurd need to be prepared for the next “2001 club party” I’m invited to, for which this specific midriff/backless shirt would be absolutely necessary.

I WASN’T SURE where to begin in the cleaning process, but I couldn’t come up with any decent excuse to avoid it. As my wise friend Alicia once said: “You need to grow up and it wouldn’t hurt to dress like a grown up too.”

SO IT BEGAN, on a Monday afternoon, I successfully packed half of my closet into 10 different bags which contents would likely become useful in someone else’s closet instead of mine. I had to be ruthless in the decision making because for some reason I was emotionally attached to shoes I’d only worn once in three years, jeans that had too many holes, mini skirts that were too… mini, and a bunch of other items that were in great shape but I hadn’t worn in a while nor planning to any time soon.

I ALSO WENT through my chest drawers, vanity and bathroom. I decided I had collected a ridiculous amount of lip gloss and eyeliner, which unfortunately are not exactly good for re-use but at least I got rid of what I didn’t need and made a promise to myself that I would not purchase any more until I had consumed my current stash. (two months and counting!)

IT WAS IN FACT ridiculous that inside a walk in closet I could not fit every piece of clothing that I owned. I actually had to pack away my spring & summer wardrobes every winter because that closet was just not big enough for both. Please forgive me if in any way I am insulting other women or men out there who are happy to go through the seasonal pack and store routine. Or who have even larger and fuller walk-in closets than I, in this world I suspect there are several. I’m simply offering my story as an example of the positive effect that one person can have on the lives of many others who may not be as fortunate.

AFTER THE DOWNSIZING process was completed, I had to make a decision on where to take the ten bags of clothing, shoes, jewelry and whatever else I managed to get out of my closet. I usually donate to the salvation army because they are easily accessible. This time however, because I was particularly attached to several of these items I wanted to make sure that they would go to a place where people would not have to pay for them. Nothing against the salvation army or other organizations of the like – but I really wanted to make sure that if I was giving my clothes away for free they would make it to another woman’s closet who truly needed them also for free.

SO I ASKED around and found a wonderful organization in my local community that is dedicated to providing low income families with clothing and other household items at no cost. I know what you’re thinking, free clothes? Sweet! Not so fast my frugal friends, this organization screens people in order to determine whether or not they qualify for the help. You have to complete an application and go through a series of interviews. As well as present them with your pay stubs and proof of income as part of the process. This way, they know that the items are going to people who truly need them and appreciate them.

One of my favorite TV characters, CARRIE BRADSHAW, once said, “I like my money right where I can see it: hanging in my closet”. I admit I’ve had that outlook since I was thirteen. Undoubtedly I’ve managed to keep thousands of dollars within that 4’ x 8’ space, which makes me wonder about how much I’ve actually given away to charity. I’m almost embarrassed to admit that I could have probably bought my car in cash if I’d reduced my wardrobe to fifty percent ten years ago and kept it that way.

I MUST SAY that this closet cleansing has served as a buying habit cleansing as well. It has affected the way I look at shopping and has shifted my acquiring methods towards more of a “quality vs. quantity” approach. When I’m out and I see something I like, I ask myself three questions: Do I need it? Will I wear it this season? And will it last through the seasons? Buying a dress that I like just because I might wear it some day is a slippery slope down to accumulation destination. Buying something that I will wear only one season (for whatever reason) is just not smart spending, unless it’s a very trendy/reasonably priced item, I do have some trend setter senses left after all! And buying something that might fall apart before the next season of Keeping up with the Kardashians is just out of the question.

It has been brought to my attention that at some point in recent years most young men decided to stop courting women the way they used to. You know with flowers, romantic dates and oh yeah, phone calls.

The 20-year old guy thinks its appropriate to text you his half naked photo rather than just ask how your day is going. He wants to split the bill at the dinner table but still expects you to go home with him that night. I’ve heard more 20-year old men say that if women want to be treated as equals they should be held to the same standards.

A girlfriend of mine recently shared with me her frustration over this new found sense of “equality” shared by some of the guys she’s been dating. When did it become acceptable to ask a woman out on a date and expect her to pay for half? My friend was called “old fashioned” by this man, of which its meaning I am confident he knows nothing about.

Is it old fashioned to want a man who courts you with respect and expects nothing in return? Is it old fashioned for a man to hold a door open for you? Since when did common courtesy and manners become old fashioned?

In many cultures it is considered an insult for a guest to pay for anything and in my humble opinion, when a man asks you out to dinner, you become his guest. Splitting the check can be completely cool once you have both discussed it and are comfortable that way, but it’s never okay to expect a woman to pay her half on a date, not if the two just met, and especially not if what he’s trying to do is show that he’s a man.

So I pose the question to you dear reader:

What does it really mean to be old fashioned??? Answer kindly!

XO

~M

In the summer of 2010 when my friends Kathryn and Alicia Hampton were raising 14 thousand dollars, to walk 60 miles for breast cancer research and honor their mother, I wanted to support them. But my funds were limited and I didn’t know how much I could contribute or if my small contribution would make any difference. Shortly after donating the $60 I had saved, after deciding to Give Up a few superfluous purchases, I was inspired, enlightened and challenged to raise more. It was as if a light bulb had turned on in my head and I had found a new purpose in my life. I couldn’t do it alone so I launched The Give It Up Campaign. Born out of the idea that we all have the capacity to contribute and give back to our communities in a variety of ways, no matter our economic position in life. Whether our efforts are local or global, we have the power to impact the world. In the end Kathryn and Alicia raised over 30 thousand dollars thanks to their relentless efforts and The Give It Up Campaign.

It is my goal for the Give It Up Campaign to partner with different organizations, causes and projects on a regular basis and create new possibilities, influences and philanthropists.

Happy Giving! xo ~Maribel

Serendipity  is finding something that you were not expecting to find, an unexpected happy outcome, a pleasant surprise. This is what happened to me when I created The Give It Up Campaign. When I talk to my friends and family about it, they always ask me what inspired me to create it. So I decided to write this post to share with you why The Give It Up Campaign means so much to me, and all the people who have become part of the Happy Giving movement this past year. 

Why the Give It Up Campaign? Because I am not the only person in this world who wants to make a difference in other’s lives. And because I want my friends and family to have the opportunity to see the direct impact that their contributions and generosity have on our communities. 

How can You help the Give It Up Campaign? Take one expense like coffee, candy, drinks, cab rides or dessert and exchange the money you were going to spend on those items for the opportunity to help others! How? By contributing that money to the causes we support at The Give It Up Campaign and inviting your friends, colleagues and family to join you in these efforts. You can share links to our facebook or twitter page, tweet about us, email, blog and even talk about The Give It Up Campaign in casual conversation. 

Who Would You Help? The Give It Up Campaign supports different causes that have meaning to you, me and our global community. Our current campaign is in support of Dancing with N.E.D., a documentary featuring N.E.D., a rock band composed of six gynecologic oncologists who are on a mission to save lives, improve quality of life, and bringing awareness to GYN cancers with their music. 

Why Dancing with N.E.D.? My life and yours have been impacted by cancer in ways we never expected. My family has been directly hit with cancers that have taken loved ones away too soon. I admire my friends who have dealt with losing a parent, loved one, or are battling cancer right now. It’s an awful disease that strikes without cause or consideration, and I feel Dancing with N.E.D. helps exemplify the beauty of the fight, the courage of the fighters and the positive results a collaborative effort can have. Dancing with N.E.D. came into my life unexpectedly and now that I know more, I can do more, and I’d love it if you would join me in the journey! 

Please visit the Dancing with N.E.D. donation page here, where you can make a 100% tax deducible contribution that will go directly to make this inspiring and educational documentary possible.

I look forward to what we accomplish today and in the future together at The Give It Up Campaign.

Happy Giving!

~MQ 

Many of us use social media as a major means for communication. It has become a significant part of our daily interaction. It is because we spend so much time online, that we have to take these tools seriously and learn to manage them properly.

Who is watching YOU on facebook?

• Your best friend & not so best friend

• Potential employers

• Current employers & colleagues

• The media

Always remember: what you post online could become public domain and can never be erased. This means that it can be used in anything from a court of law, a newspaper article or popular magazine sometimes without your consent.

Including:

• Photos

• Videos

• Messages

• Emails

• Comments

• Status updates

Know your Privacy Options

1. Classify your friends. It sounds harsh and it might take you some time, depending on the number of facebook friends you have but it gives you more control. On facebook you have the option to create lists for different groups of people you are friends with and give each list specific permissions and restrictions. For example, you may want to create separate lists for family and colleagues. This way you can allow anyone in the Family list to view your pictures, no one categorized in the Colleagues list. You can find this option under the FRIENDS tab on the right-hand side of the page.
   
2. Don’t be afraid to block someone. And if you feel threatened or unsafe you should report them immediately. On facebook you can find the block button under PRIVACY SETTINGS
3. Be aware of who can see your updates. facebook has made it easier to choose who can see your updates by simply clicking on the lock icon below your post, before you publish it, and selecting the friends lists to exclude form viewing this post. This is another wonderful benefit of classifying your friends into lists.
4. Lastly, you should never accept invitations from people you don’t know. If you’re worried about networking, that’s what LinkedIn is for.

You can still have fun with your facebook profile and feel free to express who you are. Just remember: The world is watching!